Inertia

Here are some scratches on a piece of paper I found that I wrote in the dark days:

"Sleepless nights and unaccomplished days. Is inertia enough? How long can we keep this up? Something slumbers in the desert, it shifts dunes of sand in it's sleep. I dream and I create but the lives I weave are transparent, they've yet to flesh themselves into existence. Each place I call home is more taxed then the last. At this rate I'll be paying for every breath in a matter of months. It's dark in my corner. Too dark to remember what I've learned. I unlearn each day. Empty then fill. There's a cloud over this place, invisible to the naked eye. The cloud houses something awful, something with long tentacle-like arms with oppressive strength. The tentacles shoot out from the sky and press on your chest, just atop the sternum. The pressing hold that pins you in your place. And keeps you there. Don't struggle, accept mediocrity and the inevitable routine of a short, droll existence. What a strange time to be a part of. No one seems to care enough to better the times, the lives, the world."

I don't remember what was going on when I wrote this but I can still feel the remnants of that force. It is very clear here that I am talking about the world of my immediate surroundings. These feelings are what spurred my decision to leave California and I know now that I made the right choice. "I once was lost but now I'm found."

music you've never heard

I have an album. I recorded it a while back. It was released almost a year ago. It has not generated the desired amount of attention. You want to play hard ball? Fine.

I'll drop the price of the album for just one day.

Febuary 1st 2009 will be the special day when you can get the album for .69 a track or 6.99 for the whole album.

What's your excuse?

Just click the link on the side of this page or access my music page on this site through the "Music" tab.

Done.

-Quinn Allan

Breeding Degeneracy

    There's a language to television that most all of us speak. It is taught at the earliest of ages now, even before we learn to talk. A one-year-old may not be able to tell you his name, but he can certainly follow the plot to The Office. It's a strange and peculiar language that has no lexicon or grammar. It's a language based on instincts, sub-conscious behavior, and a super-evolved form of hypnosis-like telepathy. The evidence of this proposed language exists in the curious cases of those who do not know how to speak it. After years now without a steady flow of visual mind-numbing media I myself have become one of the few.

    I was a TV watcher from the get go. Hell, I was practically raised by Eureka's Castle and Mr. Rogers. I watched my fair share of cartoons and sitcoms up into my early adult years, but eventually found little that held my interest or seemed geared toward a man of my tastes. Soon a lack of proper funds led to the absence of television, not by choice, but because food was more important. I would catch an occasional show here and there, suffering through America's Next Top Model for another's sake or tuning into the few Adult Swim cartoons that are among the rare shows that actually speak any sense to me. But it came to be that the natural flow of the television super-highway became invisible to me altogether.

    Having been without it now for some great while, I will occasionally sit down in some place other than my home and flick on the bright flashing lights of that cursed invention. I now find it utterly disturbing, a vile place filled with nothing but absolute horror. It speaks in tongues and spells no message other than one of inherent doom. Channel 1... doom. Channel 2... doom. Channel 3... the doom spin-off. And Channel 4 is showing made-for-TV doom. It makes no sense! None of it. Especially advertisements. The modern ad companies rely heavily on a constant lack of intelligence and attention. They are expecting you to be zoned out and only paying attention on some distant level. They only need to plant the seed, the method doesn't have to add up. Anyone who can stand far enough away from the ads can see that they rarely make any sense at all. The people watching them around you seem to get it but you will turn from viewer to screen over and over wondering if there's something you're missing. They could be in Japanese and I would understand just as much.

    What happened? It didn't take that long. I've spent the majority of my life intoxicated by a constant stream of useless plots, slogans, jingles, and facts only to lose the ability to translate this information into a workable form in less than three years.

    Take Rachel Ray for example. God what a brainless twit! I watched the tail end of her "show" today, which is as much hers as the sun is mine. What I saw was a sad, middle-aged woman cooking ridiculous food for an invisible audience. Notice that they never show the audience, you just hear them clap. What's more sad: a woman reacting to a phantom audience or the actual thought of people traveling out to watch that she-beast murder the food in front of her? She's a horrible little puppet there to sell Ritz Crackers and ad-space. Chances are she's as oblivious to her horrible fate as most of us poor saps are.

    We take so much of the idea of television for granted. The damn thing was only invented 70 years ago. It's only now that we have children more developed and experienced through television than actual life experience. We are completely unaware of the consequences that came with a device invented by our great-grandfathers. There's no doubt that we can see a detachment with reality developing in much of today's youth. Of course these kids don't know the weight of their actions! When some one on TV screws up it's funny. There's no serious recourse for Sponge Bob, we know it will all work out in the end. Taking a life? Hell, it happens all the time on TV and they get off scott-free!

    I challenge everyone who reads this to go without watching TV for at least six months. Once you've passed that mark turn it back on and you will see the horror that I see. The colors will bleed out from the screen and breed degeneracy all over your eyes while the screeches of some monstrous harpy-like she-devil will be felt in the depths of your loins. Don't believe me? Just try it. Turn off, tune out, drop it. If you can.

...makes the heart go wander

Such vicious little beasts we are. What a vile breed mankind truly is. What other way could it possibly be though? We are pocked with ugliness to give us that special flavor. Take substance for example. Not the material concept of substance, like something of weight, but rather the intoxicating mix of chemicals and compounds that fuel our wildest dreams and haunt our gloomiest nights. I try to resist the primal urges to dowse myself in any and all mind
altering/inhibiting/expanding/connecting/blowing substances but I find the alternative so boring. Why is life so typically droll? Whose idea was it to make all the harmful elements the most fun to enjoy?

Alcohol is the devil with the nicest labels and advertising you've ever seen. How many times have we told ourselves that we're done, we've had enough, time to put the cork on it for good? But it's never for good is it. It never is for me. I believe that we've spent so much of our early life trying to fit in to this little mold thats been cut out for us. The mold is a tight fit and we have to stuff all our being into it to make the people who monitor us happy. After twenty-odd years of that we will find any excuse to force an uncontrollable craziness upon ourselves. That's the beauty of substance. We get to experience insanity and guess what? It only lasts 1-17 hours depending on what you take. What a beautiful thing. Some of the most colorful moments of my life have been fueled by an absolute disregard for sanity. Usually backed up by a strong soaking of liquor or a pleasant sampling of drugs. That's the beauty and the horror of it. It sure is a fun ride...but it's one of the hardest rides to get off. To stay away from. No matter how bad it gets, how scary, it never outweighs the good times, the crazy trips, the hysterical laughter. Am I right?

Such vicious little beasts we are. What a vile breed mankind truly is.

It's in the title

It's about time I set a few things straight, really get down and dirty and told you what this blog is all about. I have no interest in what celebrities are doing. This is not a blog about my private life. This is a blog commentating on the sick and wondrous possibilities and lives of the people around me both directly and indirectly. This is pure Horatio Alger. Gonzo-blogging, if you will. This is where the freaks will come to see where they fall in line. This is a blog about the edge. It will be sick, twisted, off-put, awkward, and amazing. All at once. This is the beginning of the end. The ugly little page where I pour out the inky smut that spews out of the nether-most regions of my brain. Enjoy.

-Q

The New Regime

It is now 1:00 AM, one day deep into the new regime. The 44th President of the United States was sworn into office early yesterday and I don’t feel any different. He was elected on the hope ticket, which is all anyone cares about now. If there is no hope, there is no country. We simply cannot survive without some glimmer of hope. And what better embodiment for that hope than a black President? Hope for change like the kind we’ve seen in the Civil Rights movement over the past forty years. He’s black! He’s white! He could be a goddamn Rottweiler for all I care, just so long as he breathes the much-needed life back into this country. America the Mighty has run on nothing but fumes for nigh ten years now, and that’s not even dipping into the fuel problems. The spirit of the people is divided and practically crushed to dust. Those old enough to remember “the good days” are too senile now to do anything to help. Most of us, the ones who matter anyway, see nothing but a dim fog up ahead. And those who look past the fog are no more at ease.

It’s not that I don’t feel we can persevere, we’ve got a good history for that. It’s more of a feeling that the countdown has begun and no one can see the clock. Like Rome before us we are at the verge of ripping ourselves apart, all our enemies will have to do is pick up what’s left, like grave-robbers pillaging the corpse of our once-great nation.

But that’s not what yesterday was about. Yesterday thousands upon thousands of American citizens, from all walks of life, gathered in the nation’s capitol to be a part of history. It wasn’t the color of his skin that drew people in, it was the magnitude of the idea his skin represents. In only a handful of generations, the black community has gone from winning their freedom, to seeing one of their own take the seat as one of the most powerful men in the world. Yesterday a one-hundred year old African American was there when President Obama was sworn in. In his lifetime, he has seen the change that comes with perseverance, and he turns his thanks to God for letting him live to see this moment. That is a power you cannot buy. That is a hope you can’t help but be a part of. The old way of thinking is becoming the new. The unmistakable idea of possibilities this country is supposed to represent seems to be on the mend. This is why black, white, yellow, and red alike gathered yesterday. This is the hope that we are so desperate for.

President Obama certainly has his work cut out for him. I feel correct in saying the very fate of our country is now resting in his hands. His actions will either inspire us to become the great nation we once were, or doom us to the realization that there is no hope, that we’ve already lost. I, like many of my generation, lacked the proper motivation to get off my ass and vote this year, a mistake I will not make again. If I did vote, would I have voted for Obama? In all honesty, I cannot say, but I’m part of “the people” and the people spoke for me…and I’m glad. I’m happy that everyone got what they wanted and I’m moved by the same power that has touched us all.
I leave the official running of business in our country in the hands of the 44th President, Barak Obama. And I myself will make an impact, in my lifetime, and do my very best to secure the blessings of liberty to myself and my posterity. Do ordain and establish this proclamation for The United States of America.


Quinn Allan
Wednesday January 21st, 2009